God is a funny dude sometimes. But I know he loves me.

Over the past few days I have had the pleasure of being delighted by the feeling of what I call love. Its been a combination of openness and acceptance. A feeling of yes in spite of every no from my past. A sense of "better off", having left "worse off" miles behind. I'm amazed today that God let someone come close to loving me like he does, and like my father should have. 

I mentioned my father but I don't really have a father. Of course my mother was married to a man and they made me and I'm here but my father has never taken care of me, he has never hugged me. He never said I love you. I was never any mans, "baby girl". I believe that every woman's first love should be her father. If your heart doesn't know true and unconditional love from a man as a child, from your father, step father, uncle or some man who is close to you. She will likely have a life full of accepting anything as love. And that is no good. 

I say God is a funny dude because he doesn't just lay things out for us making things plain to see and recognize. He makes us practice faith. 

Complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. This Sunday morning, although I am not having any fellowship with others I am thankful and I am faithful. And standing by to see whats next.